Unedited

I just spent 3 hours writing all this up. 2.5 hours of those trying to get consistent font size in the blogspot editor. Unedited my ass!

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I hate all those dental product advertisements. You know how they always show all that bacteria inside your mouth, I think it’s disgusting - it just makes me want to throw up. Except that it makes the mental picture of my own mouth even more disgusting which makes me want to throw up even more. Vicious cycle...

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I was carrying my laptop in my hands and the mouse fell on the floor. So I asked a colleague – “Can you hand me my mouse?” ...and that just came out all wrong

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A friend once complimented me on my email signature. He said "It's cool".
My email signature: "Sent from my Blackberry Wireless Handheld!"
I have decided we have been friends long enough.

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Despite being a woman myself, it’s amazing how much I still need to learn about my fellow sisters. Like I recently learnt there is nearly no correct way of using “even” while referring to a woman. In any form. Ever. Period.

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I recently visited a long lost friend. I was waiting outside her door when I heard her cat from inside. I was looking for the cat as I entered when she apologised, "I'm sorry I kept you waiting, the baby just wouldn't stop crying, I bet you could hear her from outside"...I told her I could. And that her baby was cute.

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One co-worker once thought out loud: “I actually like not having a lot to do at work, and just having an easy day”. I told him he must be an exception. Because all of us just love working our butts off.

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If you are confirming your attendance at a dinner at someone’s house, make sure you send the email to the right person. Or you’ll open a can of worms you never thought existed.True story.

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I have recently received many marriage invites. Marriage. Not wedding. Marriage. And people often insist I stay present the whole time. I don't know how to tell them.

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Another long lost friend (yes it’s lost & found day in High School Friends’ Universe) recently got back in touch. After a long update on her life, she said, “I can’t believe you are still single, but I am sure you have guys wrapped around you all the time”. I told her there are loads. Tom Cruise is one of them.

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I just had my half yearly performance review. We just love sending each other off on holidays.

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You know the difference between reality and perception? Like when women make a pout and think they look like Angelina Jolie, while in reality they look like they kissed a bee hive? I am a woman and I think this post is hilarious.