I remember this from the engagement ceremony of one of my friends. now anyone familiar with the north indian hindu wedding system must know what havoc and chaos this 1event must have unleashed over the entire family.

For the less enlightened...the madness begins much before the actual event. The news itself sends tremors across the neighborhood and the family clan that would put an earthquake measuring 5.1 on Richter scale to shame. Suddenly you start meeting/ talking to "relatives" you never knew existed. Worse? the first question they ask you is your name...not your to-be-spouse's, your own! Well you see they only know you as so-and-so's son / daughter. Your and his salary is of the utmost importance and a bigger public figure than your local celebrity. Over the next few months everything from your future savings, to which school should you send your kids to etc etc etc are analysed by the entire clan in detail. 15 minutes into the news and you already wonder if getting your parents to agree to the match (in case of love marriages) or going through endless "bio-datas" and meeting endless potential matches was after all, the easy part. Another 5 minutes and you are sure nothing except eloping would have been better!!

Exasperating as it is, and a blatant reflection of complete lack of privacy as well...to just an onlooker, it can be amusing to the point of being hilarious... here's an example

Setting: Engagement function

Venue: The Bride's house

Hosts: The bride-to-be, her parents, her 2 sisters, their husbands, and 3 children, 2 cousins, 2 aunts with their husbands...minimum 20 people in all. And mind you this is not a "function".

Scene: 5:30, everyone waiting anxiously for the guests to arrive...
Expected time of arrival: 6:00 PM

[and of course the entire conversation is a translation.. from hindi to english]

typical players in each setting
the inevitable just returned NRI who hates everything about India
the classic grandma, and her unfailing wisdom
the giggly younger sisters
the bride who is feeling f***** up with all the artificial make up and cursing her in-laws already
the tons of relatives, each willing to pitch in with their ideas for the couple's future
the poor anxious mother of the bride who hasn't had time to eat all day
the father who can't stop roaming outside the house thanks to his palpitations and ..well acidity :P

5:30

"I need some tea, i have a splitting headache"

"Wait for sometime, they will arrive in half an hour, we can all have tea together,"
"Yeah...uncleji meanwhile divert your attention you know..see my new DSLR..i got this st. from NY you see...fabulous uncleji I tell you..in India, this will cost at least twice, and then you don't even know if its the real thing you know.."
" arey Sonia ke daddy,you have the boy's ring with you right?"
"achcha waise where does the boy work? what must be his salary?"

6:15

"I think they are going to be late"

"Well yes did you really expect them to be on time? "
"ladke waale hain bhyee"
"you know auntyji this is what i hate about India..complete lack of punctuality..this would never happen anywhere abroad"

"haan, ji our Sonia also earns enoguh. I think together they will be able to buy at least a 2BHK in Faridabad at least, property is cheaper there, and within 5 years it will become like Dwarka...very expensive, I have a property dealer in mind, I will tell apni Simi,"


6:30
"May be they are lost"
"arey suno..just call them and see where they have reached"
[following a scramble takes place in which 5 phones come out in 5 seconds from 5 different directions, while the original addressee who was happily trying out the food in the kitchen comes out with a ]

"huh?????"
"arey..rehne do ji aap...jijaji you pls call and see where they are"

[ a pin drop silence, and a 2 min phone call ]

"i just did..they are somewhere here...they said they will reach in 10 min"
"arey sunoji...you come inside, roaming on the street will not help"
"Oh ji nahi ji, I am just taking a stroll, ate too much at lunch na so a little bit of acidity you see"

"haanji haanji bilkul, will be good if they buy a house before having kids you see, they are both young, they can wait 2-3 years for kids ji...settle down first, kya jaldi hai bachchon ki"

6:45
"hai-re, my headache will kill me"
"kya bade papa..[giggle giggle]....here the suspense is killing us, we haven't even seen our to-be jijaji yet...you are worried about your headache"
"oye hoye!! is this the way to talk to your elders? go make 1 cup tea"
"God knows where they are..."
"ladke waale hain bhyeee"

"waise Faridabad also had very good schools coming up you see. DPS also planning to open a branch there you see"

7:00
"didi why havent they come yet...hope nothing is wrong"
"arey nahi simi, dont worry i am sure they just started late only'
"ladke waale hain bhyee"
[muttering] "what the f*** is wrong with ashmit!!
[aloud] Let me give him a call"
"no no you leave it..are you mad!! you are the bride-to-be...what will the ladke-waale think?"
"but mamiji.."
"sonia!! no, you will not call them..."
[muttering again]"pfffff...F****"
[giggle giggle..] " see didi is getting so impatient to see jiju"
[at which the bride gives them a look...sigh...if only looks could kill]

7:15
the much awaited door bell finalyl rings
and everyone comes to order,
all aunties fix their sarees, all uncles get up simultaneously to greet the "ladke waale"
our dearly beloved NRI fixes his hair and gets his new "DSLR" ready
the 2 uncles finalising the next 10 years of the couple's lives get ready to bestow their unbeatable intelligence on the bridegroom
and of course, the inevitable ... giggle giggle giggle..

"madamji cablewaalaa" ,
"ye maraa cablewaalaa, what do you want at this time?"
"this month's bill madam"

[ this is the point, where an innocent onlooker like me has to rush outside and break in to splits laughing, but i dont need to...even in this anxiety, the Indian family has the good sense to laugh....dispelling some of the tension in the air ]

everyone except our annoyed bride, i.e. who is gettin more n more impatient. vowing to "teach" her groom a lesson the minute they get married!

7:30
"Mumma...can I please take off this one necklace, its killing me. And I can barely hold this saree, i am sure it weighs more than I do"
"Bete Sonia, why r u troubling your mother further. just wear it beta, it will be over soon"
[helpless n exasperated], " i'll kill ashmit"
"na beta dont talk like that, this is marriage it happens"
"ladke waale hain bhyee"

and so the drama continues, until the boy arrives with his family; only 3 hours late. the food has gone cold. there is of course no time for tea anymore. the bride's make up is all caky by now and the sisters' giggles have become subdued. but what to do...

"ladke waale hain bhyee" ;)

Capitalism: Through Michael Moore's lens

I have never seen any of the other MM movies, though i wonder why now. A friend introduced me to him a few yrs ago through his own blog. and i remember reading up about him back then, and resolving to see some of his movies. and then forgot :P


its a very biased movie, which says capitalism has done absolutely no good to this world whatsoever. agreed that in a movie one needs to exaggerate to get his point across, but a documentary i would suppose would need to b more factual and balanced than opinionated, and that too to this extent.

it is undeniable that the world is in this rut today thanks to pure unadulterated greed; and yet greed is not an outcome of capitalism; its the other way round. if it wasn't so, socialism would not have failed the way it did almost everywhere in the world. good or bad the fact remains that capitalism is the only system that has continued to work, the others, socialism, monarchy, communism have failed miserably.

in fact, a closer look at the movie itself carefully, the reason capitalism has become what is has today, it because it has started mimicking the monarchy / aristocracy system.

having said this, some of the facts shown in the movie were shocking, to say the least. especially the official memo leaked out by an employee said such things, that i was revolted by the idea of ever joining a bank. the details and facts overall were pretty rattling, even to the dedicated finance people who i watched it with, who themselves wondered if they wanted to join banks ever [ of course their confusion lasted only 5 min] but the truth remains, that this entire industry has become too infested with greed to be curable. It needs to be replaced completely,. with what i don't know

the big constant question on my mind is will we as a generation be ever able to avoid falling prey to this corporate greed after entering this world and doing all sorts of unethical things that we now so blatantly accuse others of having done.

keeping in mind the simple perspective, that this "organisational decay" starts with an increasing sense of entitlement by employees towards company's profits / earnings/ resources; the most basic examples of which are:

1. using personal internet in office hours because we think we spend so much time in office its okay to check personal emails or do some personal work;

2. bumping up our CVs with things we haven't actually done

3. Using office expense reimbursements for claiming personal bills

4. bankers justifying first class travel because "they work so hard"

and so on.

my idea is not to become too idealistic to be practical but keeping these patterns in mind...and knowing that this sense of entitlement grows with age, time and designation; i don't know if we will or even if we can, somehow, strike a balance; and escape going downhill completely.

Here's more about the movie though: http://www.capitalismalovestory.com/