Sunday, September 20, 2009

I opened my eyes groggily, my head felt weird. it hurt but more than that, it felt twice its size. For some reason, I could see less from one eye. it took me a few seconds to realise that my eye was swollen. and so was that side of my forehead too. i would hear my parents murmuring, my father furious as always, my mother trying to calm him down..and failing, as always. i was on my bed and just decided not to try to speak at the moment. a few minutes of silent listening reminded me of the afternoon. i had been playing basket ball, in school, i was about to take a shot, when i felt my legs getting entangled into another pair...almost instantly i felt my head hit the hard cement, a loud thud and the world had gone black.

now I could hear my father furious and yelling in the other room. "I told you to stop her madness. Look where its gotten her, its her Xth boards...and there she is..."
I was feeling sick again, my head dizzy, I wanted to throw up.
"she'll be lucky if she hasn't lost her eye...what if her face is damaged in some way, look at her head...what are we going to do if there's brain damage, its all your indulgence"
I tried to call out to my dad and ask him to stop yelling, I was fine, I could see , hear and remember correctly, there was nothing wrong with me...
"She must never play again! ask her to focus on her studies, its her Xth boards. thats it!"
and the world went black again....


Flash forward 11 years.

sunday morning...NUS MBA last semester badminton tournament. I woke up cursing myself, dragging myself out of the bed..already on way to being at least a half hour late. Why did I ever register...and ruin my sunday morning precious sleep! I haven't so much as picked up a racquet since that day, let alone play!!!

As I showered, I remembered that fateful afternoon more than a decade ago, when my mother had softly told me, after I finally regained consciousness that I had taken a direct hit on my head, my eye was safe luckily but there was some clotting in my brain that would take some time to dissolve. till then i was forbidden to do anything, except lying down, for long hours. any long term implications would come to be known only with time but i might not be able to work long hours on a computer or make a career in flying. "okay we'll see that with time", i told myself.

and yes, I was forbidden to play.
"what! thats insane..i want to talk to the doctor ..this is ridiculous mom i am fine"
"yes, i know..the doctor is not forbidding you...in theory, you are never to play again...your XIIth results are very important for your career"...as my mother smiled softly and ever so slightly winked at me ;) I smiled and fell back to sleep.,.....I loved the way she always found a mid way to keeping peace in the family. I wouldn't have made it to the school team anyway....


Well of course all that had turned out to be much ado about nothing, I did make a career in computers, and I have travelled by air enough to know that, that at least would not have been the reason why I couldn't have become a pilot! ;) The only reason I hadn't played was because I had promised my mother I wont, and then just lost all interest over the years. and the only living memory of that fall is a faint mark on my forehead, which is visible only if i frown and some one is playing very close attention :P

As I stepped on the badminton field, and swung my arm, it felt more lifeless than it ever had. I couldn't help remembering the days I used to spend hours playing tennis. My tennis racquets were at least twice as heavy as this one. I lost my first match abysmally. A part of me just wanted to go back home. "You haven't stepped on to a field in11 years...stop wasting your time and just go and sleep!"

But then I picked up the racquet, and started playing what I used to love playing as a child...gully badminton. a few matches later..I was back to having fun. Yes I lost my second match too. But less abysmally. and had more fun while doing so.

on my way back, as AA and I tried to find our way back to our house...errm yes I had managed to get us lost again,...I smiled. I had forgotten how much fun sports really are.....even if you lose abysmally....coz you eventually start losing less abysmally ;)

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