Talk about culture shock! I had thought I would get it when I first go outside India. May 2007- London. nothing. i loved it there. Singapore. well not really. i mean sure the food sucked initially n i was homesick n lonely but things r getting better with time...n thts not really a culture shock. so what is culture shock? having to walk a lot? naah..thats just laziness-inertia :P having to cook on my own- well im nt doing tht so tht doesnt even count :P really really really short clothes...yeah that could probably have been 1 thing, but I guess its more of wistfulness of not having the kind of figure or confidence to b able to ever carry such clothes; than a shock. plus before hand where i was coming and what to expect.clubbing!! ah yes that could have been the closest, but a) i dont have the money to go clubbing. and b) i never went clubbing even in India, and wen I did it was as much of a culture shock for me there as well. so what is culture shock n why does everyone go on and on about it???? i had no idea...but i was perplexed n this thought struck me every now and then.
One such morning, on my way to college, as I was looking at the perfectly spaced, perfectly shaped, perfectly manicured trees spawned across Singapore, with the polite beep in the bus every time some one wanted to alight and the patient polite queues for buses everywhere.., wondering in a country where everything is so disciplined, that people dont walk bare feet on wet grass, women dont go out without makeup and dont even come back home without makeup that makes them look morning fresh all day through... even trees know exactly what shape n height to stop growing at, would people even know the emotion called shock??? the word itself is too aggressive to fit in the "genteel" ambiance created all around, blanketing any "raw" display of emotion, a question broke my chain of thought...
"hey are you married??"
'What?"i looked at the girl sitting next to me, surprised. "Oh, no no..I just generally...", I smiled back half-apologetically...I had casually put my gold ring in the left-hand ring finger. Hindus don't have a lot of significance to the ring, they have so many other ways to make their women demonstrate their marital status! but for the rest of the world..where a ring is all it takes you from enjoying single-hood to stressing over visiting in-laws,..that one small ring makes the world of a difference. So consciously I put it back on...
but old habits die hard. and my habit of playing with my ring and switching it between fingers was no different. and so over the next few days i was asked this same question many many many times. until it almost started feeling the easiest conversation starter with me. well thanks to the girls who at least talked to a loner like me...at least they tried to make friends with me. but honestly, while i was conscious of the fact that i was talking to ppl (or rather they were talking to me), and it was nice to start making friends in an alien place,..the marriage thing was getting a bit out of hand!!
for it always took the same course...
"Hey are you married?"
"Umm oh no..this was just...i was just playing with my ring.."
"Ohh! (smile) but you must have a boyfriend!"
... wasn't this the exact same conversation I had hoped to flee when I left India??? Oh well..people are the same everywhere just people...
so I sighed and carried on. Reached my class and opened my laptop..my ring still (unconcsiously of course ) on the left hand ring finger...when I heard an excited voice right behind me...even before listening I knew what it was going to be...
"Oooo!! soooooooo cute! is that your baby??"
WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! wait...thats the wrong question..you're supposed to ask me if I am married...
"What?? which baby??"
And she pointed happily at my laptop
"Ahhhhh....no , its not. its just a wallpaper I got from the net!!" ........
apparently not only married people wear rings, they also put their babies/kids pics as the backgrounds on their laptops...though im not sure if that really counts as a part of culture shock people are pretty crazy about their kids everywhere. thats more of perhaps an age shock. people have started realising what my parents already did, many years ago...I'm old enough to get married and have kids...by the Indian societal standards of course
and talking of culture shock..i have safely put my ring away elsewhere and my laptop wallpaper just has trees n birds.
One such morning, on my way to college, as I was looking at the perfectly spaced, perfectly shaped, perfectly manicured trees spawned across Singapore, with the polite beep in the bus every time some one wanted to alight and the patient polite queues for buses everywhere.., wondering in a country where everything is so disciplined, that people dont walk bare feet on wet grass, women dont go out without makeup and dont even come back home without makeup that makes them look morning fresh all day through... even trees know exactly what shape n height to stop growing at, would people even know the emotion called shock??? the word itself is too aggressive to fit in the "genteel" ambiance created all around, blanketing any "raw" display of emotion, a question broke my chain of thought...
"hey are you married??"
'What?"i looked at the girl sitting next to me, surprised. "Oh, no no..I just generally...", I smiled back half-apologetically...I had casually put my gold ring in the left-hand ring finger. Hindus don't have a lot of significance to the ring, they have so many other ways to make their women demonstrate their marital status! but for the rest of the world..where a ring is all it takes you from enjoying single-hood to stressing over visiting in-laws,..that one small ring makes the world of a difference. So consciously I put it back on...
but old habits die hard. and my habit of playing with my ring and switching it between fingers was no different. and so over the next few days i was asked this same question many many many times. until it almost started feeling the easiest conversation starter with me. well thanks to the girls who at least talked to a loner like me...at least they tried to make friends with me. but honestly, while i was conscious of the fact that i was talking to ppl (or rather they were talking to me), and it was nice to start making friends in an alien place,..the marriage thing was getting a bit out of hand!!
for it always took the same course...
"Hey are you married?"
"Umm oh no..this was just...i was just playing with my ring.."
"Ohh! (smile) but you must have a boyfriend!"
... wasn't this the exact same conversation I had hoped to flee when I left India??? Oh well..people are the same everywhere just people...
so I sighed and carried on. Reached my class and opened my laptop..my ring still (unconcsiously of course ) on the left hand ring finger...when I heard an excited voice right behind me...even before listening I knew what it was going to be...
"Oooo!! soooooooo cute! is that your baby??"
WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! wait...thats the wrong question..you're supposed to ask me if I am married...
"What?? which baby??"
And she pointed happily at my laptop
"Ahhhhh....no , its not. its just a wallpaper I got from the net!!" ........
apparently not only married people wear rings, they also put their babies/kids pics as the backgrounds on their laptops...though im not sure if that really counts as a part of culture shock people are pretty crazy about their kids everywhere. thats more of perhaps an age shock. people have started realising what my parents already did, many years ago...I'm old enough to get married and have kids...by the Indian societal standards of course
and talking of culture shock..i have safely put my ring away elsewhere and my laptop wallpaper just has trees n birds.
hehe i think ur desktop background should have birds and bees on it ;)
ReplyDeleteto give the 'right' impression :P
but yah i understand the culture shock u r talking abt... every time I see a group of Americans, I do get a lil uneasy...
day before, i saw at least 10 sorority girls sitting in the sun, in ahem ahem, sun bathing clothes (read a bikini). Should I have walked on or talked to them?? could never figure...