Its official. There is something decisively wrong with me. Why on earth would I not like the movies the whole world can't seem to stop raving about?? Last time I checked, I used to be a movie buff averaging 2 movies in the theater a week. But then..that was a long time ago, a time when I was earning, and movies were a great mix of unwinding & catching up with friends...Movies weren't really about movies.... but then as I said..that was a long time ago :)

Coming back to recent times, here are a few of the heavily over rated (in my opinion) movies that I have seen in the past few weeks

Paa

Seasoned stars, brilliant performances. and definitely a fresh break from the different flavors of love stories we have been fed to death! But the other day I got this email that said that Amitabh's make up used to take 8 hours to put & take off everyday. and that he was given special dentures so that the lisp that he talks with is natural. Great work! The indian movie industry is definitely growing up. But then, with such brilliant make up that you can't recognise the actor, or his voice...you can't make out his facial expressions, or voice modulation...his emotions are depicted more by the camera movements than by themselves, ... it just makes me wonder if this role couldn't have been done by some one else just as well. the industry is definitely not short of great budding stars these days, and given that Progeria patients usually have small & frail bodies, a 6 ft tall relatively healthy actor...naah!!

And why Paa exactly? I mean this could easily have been titled Maa as well...in fact given that the movie had more of mother-son relationship, than father-son; and the "Paa" doesn't come into the picture as "Paa" until the last scene, ..Maa would have probably made more sense. Or may be "Auro" , given that the movie is about the character more than anything else. Or given that the movie is about progeria, around progeria, and 50% of the budget seems to have gone in putting that make up to simulate progeria...perhaps progeria would have been the best ;)

Makes the whole Amitabh-Abhishek "father-son-son-father" tag line just a publicity gimmick to draw the crowds..ya ya you have to do that coz movies have to make money but I don't know..just one of those movies where I failed to see why people are going nuts about it...perhaps the Indian audience have such low expectations of Indian movies, that it will them even longer than the industry itself to mature into serious movie goers!

Avatar

James Cameron's masterpiece. 10 years in the making. An epic story! deserved to be seen in 3D.
Really???!! I mean seriously..seriously?! 10 years?!!! Doing what??!! the movie definitely had no story, no novelty, no originality of any sort. It is the East India company stealing from, destroying and colonizing the Red Indian villages... in the year 2154, on another planet where natural skin color is blue.

So the blue color takes care of racism I guess. And if definitely makes the cliched face and skin make up look more fancy. Honestly guys..really..look at the facial features, the makeup, the attire, the ornaments, the rituals, even the language of the so called Pandora Na'vis ...am I the only one who has seen too many old English movies about the Red Indians? Or seen Discovery's discoveries on the Mayan civilization?

Watching it was like, okay so they themselves got fed up of the theme of one American saving the Earth, so one American is now saving another planet. or may be it is the American who got tired of trying to save the Earth, decided to try his luck at another planet for a change ;)

okay, yeah the special effects were great, all those plants n trees with enhanced colors that reminded of the flourescent accessories that people wear to discotheques..and the trees that seemed to crawl all the way to your brain and suck them out to transfer to another body...all of that was great, even if a little creepy.

And why on earth..sorry, on Pandora, can human beings advance enough to live on another planet, set up huge research labs, even clone Na'vis & mine their rich reserves, but their aircraft radar technologies haven't moved in practically 300 years and still can't function in high EM activity zones?!

But still, 10 years???? If only a certain Mr. Cameron had paid 10% of what he must have paid to his special effects team, to his writers as well... they would have at least come up with a more original name for the planet.. rather than calling it "Pandora" !!

But of course, leaving all your thinking faculties aside, special effects were great, and my male friends did find the Na'vi tribal princess, a.k.a Zoe Saldana "too hot"! Although I would still say Transformers (part I) had better special effects, and Harry Potter has more creativity than Avatar, still in 10 years, at least something turned out right! ;)


Inglourious Basterds

Loved the performances! Honestly...the best acting I have seen in a really long time. Truly stellar...definitely Oscar deserving!!! I can't say this enough. A little too gory for my taste, but thats okay. People have a high apetite for this kind of stuff. And until the very end, I was feeling truly impressed. Until the end i.e. Until I saw Hitler and the rest of the Top SS brass gathered inside one movie theatre, and burnt down by burning a bunch of nitrate films. What an end to WW II. Simple, quick & efficient...why didn't anyone think of this at the time...Duh!!!!

sigh...what a waste!! Even if you must make a movie on WW II, which is as over used (understatement) as the first-love-lasts-forever theme in Hindi movies... and even if you must make a completely fictitious movie on such a monumental historic war, with no historical base whatsoever.... must you give it such a completely ridiculous end??!!!! the end..killed the movie..totally!!!!

3 idiots

Honestly, I have less disappointment with this one. May be because I hadn't even expected as much. I am not a big fan of Chetan Bhagat's work, which I think is the bollywood masala movie contemporary on Indian English literature..Indian English work i.e. for you can hardly call it literature. But still, nice, fun, easy to see, good timepass.

Amir Khan however, exceptional though as ever, I think is getting a bit too old to be playing a17 year old. About time he realised that. I don't know why in Indian movies the so-called stars live is such gross self denial of their age.

And delivering a baby with a vacuum cleaner...inspiring an engineering application as the writers / directors may have thought it to be... it made the entire movie fall back into the most ridiculous, melodramatic and nonsensical hindi movie scenes league!

And why is there such dearth of good writers in the Indian film industry, that they have to reuse jokes from email chains and mentos ads to make people laugh..is beyond me. Didn't the writer strike end like a million years ago??!! Feels like the Indian film industry takes the "reuse-recycle" idealogy, noble as it is, too seriously.. and implements this idealogy in ALL of it in its scripts, stories, music, and star casts.

To me personally, the "engineering" college set up in Ladakh in the end [ minus the 400 patents in 10 years for 1 scientist..yeah right! ] ... was the only display of genuine novelty; and an impressive one at that, ...at least I haven't found the original source of that scene yet ;) :P


Disappointed, disillusioned and seriously doubting my own capabilities of appreciation, I finally tried my hand at "Alwin & the Chipmunks II " . A movie that openly declared its ridiculousness. And voila! I actually enjoyed it! I had liked the first movie much better, but at least I didn't feel cheated. At least it didn't claim to be any more sensible (or senseless) than it really is.

Another 2 movies that I have liked in more recent times, Morning Raga & Schindler's list. Old movies, but I saw them recently. And Capitalism too [ except for the extremely biased view]

Next Stop: Sherlock Holmes..I still haven't given up all hope on me! I will try to leave my thinking faculties back at home though! :P

Else I will become an example of " Those who can't act, criticize" critics. :P

But to be fair, its great to see people trying to new things, especially in the Indian film industry breaking away from the endless love stories. And all of these movies are a great watch, at least once.... :)

But jokes apart, even as an onlooker, I have never ever understood the madness behind this whole wedding ceremony. Its like the moment 2 people decide to get married [rather usually their parents decide], 50 others...at least...get an electric shock. they are woken up from their sudden zombie state of minds... Suddenly a 1000 different task lists are made and tasks for the next 3 months are divided meticulously amongst different people...the joys of having huge families planning your wedding...

It takes endless phonecalls to sort out the color of the bride's mother's sister's saree for the function 2 days before the wedding, dont get me started on the bride's outfit..i wonder if Jennifer Anniston ever paid that much attention to her costumes! and 1 phonecall from the pundit saying the muhurat will have to be delayed by 5 minutes brings the whole world crashing down!sigh...

What's amazing is that this timeframe of 3 months doesnt make that much of a difference, I have seen weddings of similar scale being arranged in a month's time and yes, having a year to plan doesnt help either, it just adds more tasks to the list ??!!

And the meticulous planning and task allocation...it would put any corporate to shame if only it weren't for coversations such as...

"Oye the tent guy hasn't called"

"O nahi ji I had asked Mamaji to call him"

"O mamaji has gone to the caterer. He asked me to ask you"

"But I'm taking didiji to the Parlour to get ready"
" Your didiji can go to the parlour herself. You call the tent-waalah"

..well you get the idea..

And then, there are the expenses. Parents save up all their lives to marry their children off. Specially daughters, but thats more thanks to the incorrigible dowry tradition in this country. [ It may be illegal for you to see on TV, its as real as the sun! It just takes different shapes, sometimes its a car, fridge, LCD TV, sometimes its gold, soemtimes its cash, usually its all these ]

If only I could get a penny for every time I have heard statements like,

.." They too spent 3 lacs just on the tent in their son's wedding reception"

"Aur Sharmaji gave his daughter a Corolla in her wedding"..

"and Khanna Sa'ab, spent 10 lacs over and above the wedding function"

!!!!!!!

Only 3 out of 10 of these people can actually afford to spend this kind of money on one function. The rest take all kinds loans at exorbitant interest rates, just to keep up to the "status" !! I have known people spending anywhere between 15-18 Lacs INR on just the wedding function. Even those who have never earned this much even in 2-3 years!! It is the ultimate "Keeping up with the Jones's" cartoon in the world! Not only are these weddings senselessly exorbitant effectively leaving the parents & some close relatives of the bride almost bankrupt

It is just such a big event, at times I feel its bigger for parents than the bride n groom!;they are a platform for everyone to show off all their riches, owned or borrowed; they are also a platform for you to prove your mettle of remembering names of, patiently smiling of the 500 people you have never seen in your entire life and will never see again.

No wonder so many people spend their lives in unhappy, beyond-repair marriages rather than getting divorced! Fancy throwing away a marriage that follows from that kind of a wedding.

Maybe , as people have been telling me since I was 12, once I am getting married myself...I will get it. I doubt....

I remember this from the engagement ceremony of one of my friends. now anyone familiar with the north indian hindu wedding system must know what havoc and chaos this 1event must have unleashed over the entire family.

For the less enlightened...the madness begins much before the actual event. The news itself sends tremors across the neighborhood and the family clan that would put an earthquake measuring 5.1 on Richter scale to shame. Suddenly you start meeting/ talking to "relatives" you never knew existed. Worse? the first question they ask you is your name...not your to-be-spouse's, your own! Well you see they only know you as so-and-so's son / daughter. Your and his salary is of the utmost importance and a bigger public figure than your local celebrity. Over the next few months everything from your future savings, to which school should you send your kids to etc etc etc are analysed by the entire clan in detail. 15 minutes into the news and you already wonder if getting your parents to agree to the match (in case of love marriages) or going through endless "bio-datas" and meeting endless potential matches was after all, the easy part. Another 5 minutes and you are sure nothing except eloping would have been better!!

Exasperating as it is, and a blatant reflection of complete lack of privacy as well...to just an onlooker, it can be amusing to the point of being hilarious... here's an example

Setting: Engagement function

Venue: The Bride's house

Hosts: The bride-to-be, her parents, her 2 sisters, their husbands, and 3 children, 2 cousins, 2 aunts with their husbands...minimum 20 people in all. And mind you this is not a "function".

Scene: 5:30, everyone waiting anxiously for the guests to arrive...
Expected time of arrival: 6:00 PM

[and of course the entire conversation is a translation.. from hindi to english]

typical players in each setting
the inevitable just returned NRI who hates everything about India
the classic grandma, and her unfailing wisdom
the giggly younger sisters
the bride who is feeling f***** up with all the artificial make up and cursing her in-laws already
the tons of relatives, each willing to pitch in with their ideas for the couple's future
the poor anxious mother of the bride who hasn't had time to eat all day
the father who can't stop roaming outside the house thanks to his palpitations and ..well acidity :P

5:30

"I need some tea, i have a splitting headache"

"Wait for sometime, they will arrive in half an hour, we can all have tea together,"
"Yeah...uncleji meanwhile divert your attention you know..see my new DSLR..i got this st. from NY you see...fabulous uncleji I tell you..in India, this will cost at least twice, and then you don't even know if its the real thing you know.."
" arey Sonia ke daddy,you have the boy's ring with you right?"
"achcha waise where does the boy work? what must be his salary?"

6:15

"I think they are going to be late"

"Well yes did you really expect them to be on time? "
"ladke waale hain bhyee"
"you know auntyji this is what i hate about India..complete lack of punctuality..this would never happen anywhere abroad"

"haan, ji our Sonia also earns enoguh. I think together they will be able to buy at least a 2BHK in Faridabad at least, property is cheaper there, and within 5 years it will become like Dwarka...very expensive, I have a property dealer in mind, I will tell apni Simi,"


6:30
"May be they are lost"
"arey suno..just call them and see where they have reached"
[following a scramble takes place in which 5 phones come out in 5 seconds from 5 different directions, while the original addressee who was happily trying out the food in the kitchen comes out with a ]

"huh?????"
"arey..rehne do ji aap...jijaji you pls call and see where they are"

[ a pin drop silence, and a 2 min phone call ]

"i just did..they are somewhere here...they said they will reach in 10 min"
"arey sunoji...you come inside, roaming on the street will not help"
"Oh ji nahi ji, I am just taking a stroll, ate too much at lunch na so a little bit of acidity you see"

"haanji haanji bilkul, will be good if they buy a house before having kids you see, they are both young, they can wait 2-3 years for kids ji...settle down first, kya jaldi hai bachchon ki"

6:45
"hai-re, my headache will kill me"
"kya bade papa..[giggle giggle]....here the suspense is killing us, we haven't even seen our to-be jijaji yet...you are worried about your headache"
"oye hoye!! is this the way to talk to your elders? go make 1 cup tea"
"God knows where they are..."
"ladke waale hain bhyeee"

"waise Faridabad also had very good schools coming up you see. DPS also planning to open a branch there you see"

7:00
"didi why havent they come yet...hope nothing is wrong"
"arey nahi simi, dont worry i am sure they just started late only'
"ladke waale hain bhyee"
[muttering] "what the f*** is wrong with ashmit!!
[aloud] Let me give him a call"
"no no you leave it..are you mad!! you are the bride-to-be...what will the ladke-waale think?"
"but mamiji.."
"sonia!! no, you will not call them..."
[muttering again]"pfffff...F****"
[giggle giggle..] " see didi is getting so impatient to see jiju"
[at which the bride gives them a look...sigh...if only looks could kill]

7:15
the much awaited door bell finalyl rings
and everyone comes to order,
all aunties fix their sarees, all uncles get up simultaneously to greet the "ladke waale"
our dearly beloved NRI fixes his hair and gets his new "DSLR" ready
the 2 uncles finalising the next 10 years of the couple's lives get ready to bestow their unbeatable intelligence on the bridegroom
and of course, the inevitable ... giggle giggle giggle..

"madamji cablewaalaa" ,
"ye maraa cablewaalaa, what do you want at this time?"
"this month's bill madam"

[ this is the point, where an innocent onlooker like me has to rush outside and break in to splits laughing, but i dont need to...even in this anxiety, the Indian family has the good sense to laugh....dispelling some of the tension in the air ]

everyone except our annoyed bride, i.e. who is gettin more n more impatient. vowing to "teach" her groom a lesson the minute they get married!

7:30
"Mumma...can I please take off this one necklace, its killing me. And I can barely hold this saree, i am sure it weighs more than I do"
"Bete Sonia, why r u troubling your mother further. just wear it beta, it will be over soon"
[helpless n exasperated], " i'll kill ashmit"
"na beta dont talk like that, this is marriage it happens"
"ladke waale hain bhyee"

and so the drama continues, until the boy arrives with his family; only 3 hours late. the food has gone cold. there is of course no time for tea anymore. the bride's make up is all caky by now and the sisters' giggles have become subdued. but what to do...

"ladke waale hain bhyee" ;)

Capitalism: Through Michael Moore's lens

I have never seen any of the other MM movies, though i wonder why now. A friend introduced me to him a few yrs ago through his own blog. and i remember reading up about him back then, and resolving to see some of his movies. and then forgot :P


its a very biased movie, which says capitalism has done absolutely no good to this world whatsoever. agreed that in a movie one needs to exaggerate to get his point across, but a documentary i would suppose would need to b more factual and balanced than opinionated, and that too to this extent.

it is undeniable that the world is in this rut today thanks to pure unadulterated greed; and yet greed is not an outcome of capitalism; its the other way round. if it wasn't so, socialism would not have failed the way it did almost everywhere in the world. good or bad the fact remains that capitalism is the only system that has continued to work, the others, socialism, monarchy, communism have failed miserably.

in fact, a closer look at the movie itself carefully, the reason capitalism has become what is has today, it because it has started mimicking the monarchy / aristocracy system.

having said this, some of the facts shown in the movie were shocking, to say the least. especially the official memo leaked out by an employee said such things, that i was revolted by the idea of ever joining a bank. the details and facts overall were pretty rattling, even to the dedicated finance people who i watched it with, who themselves wondered if they wanted to join banks ever [ of course their confusion lasted only 5 min] but the truth remains, that this entire industry has become too infested with greed to be curable. It needs to be replaced completely,. with what i don't know

the big constant question on my mind is will we as a generation be ever able to avoid falling prey to this corporate greed after entering this world and doing all sorts of unethical things that we now so blatantly accuse others of having done.

keeping in mind the simple perspective, that this "organisational decay" starts with an increasing sense of entitlement by employees towards company's profits / earnings/ resources; the most basic examples of which are:

1. using personal internet in office hours because we think we spend so much time in office its okay to check personal emails or do some personal work;

2. bumping up our CVs with things we haven't actually done

3. Using office expense reimbursements for claiming personal bills

4. bankers justifying first class travel because "they work so hard"

and so on.

my idea is not to become too idealistic to be practical but keeping these patterns in mind...and knowing that this sense of entitlement grows with age, time and designation; i don't know if we will or even if we can, somehow, strike a balance; and escape going downhill completely.

Here's more about the movie though: http://www.capitalismalovestory.com/

I become a transparent eyeball

while i still struggle to find time to write the 100s of things running in my head, in the midst of maddening chaos around me i am glad i stumbled upon this, wondered why i hadn't found this before, was i meant to find this now....days in my life when i am stretched beyond what i ever thought was possible... i wud never know..but what i do know is that for an immediate moment, reading this did give me a break from the madness, it did give me a feeling of perfect bliss. a moment of exhilaration.


I Become a Transparent Eyeball
from “Nature”
By Ralph Waldo Emerson
Collected Essays, Penguin USA, New York NY, 1982

Crossing a bare common, in snow puddles, at twilight, under a clouded sky,
without having in my thoughts any occurrence of special good fortune,
I have enjoyed a perfect exhilaration.
I am glad to the brink of fear.
In the woods, too, a man casts off his years, as the snake his slough,
and at what period soever1 of life is always a child.
In the woods is perpetual youth.
Within these plantations of God, a decorum2 and sanctity reign,
a perennial festival is dressed,
and the guest sees not how he should tire of them in a thousand years.
In the wood, we return to reason and faith.
There I feel that nothing can befall me in life, -
no disgrace, no calamity (leaving me my eyes), which nature cannot repair.
Standing on the bare ground,-
my head bathed by the blithe3 air and uplifted into infinite space,-
all mean egotism vanishes.
I become a transparent eyeball;
I am nothing;
I see all;
the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me;
I am part or parcel of God.
The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental:
to be brothers, to be acquaintances, master or servant,
is then a trifle and a disturbance.
I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty.
In the wilderness, I find something more dear and connate4 than in streets or villages.
In the tranquil landscape, and especially in the distant line of the horizon,
man beholds somewhat as beautiful as his own nature.


Glossary:
1 – soever: whatsoever
2 – decorum: dignity
3 – blithe: a happy, light-hearted feeling
4 – connate: congenial; agreeing in nature