Kaun Umraoo....kaisi adaa aur kiski jaan....

Smthg I had written long back, but forgot to publish


I recently went to see this latest much-overhyped flick with a friend. I am not exceptionally fond of movies or movie stars, I'd rather be in the comforts of my couch, empowered with a huge pack of potato chips in one hand and the remote in another surfing my day away. Moreover, spending money to sit idle in one chair for three hours is too much of a temptation for me to rather nuzzle up in my bed and get a good sleep. But well, the hype over the movie, the praise of the original version by family veterans and, most of all, sheer boredom, made us go.

We reached, as always, 10 minutes after the movie was supposed to begin. We got the topmost row, and a "Enjoy-the-movie" accompanied with a sly smile. We had known the movie was not a big hit, and I guess that's what made the ticket-guy give us a sly smile ....ah!! how difficult to live in a world of prejudices and presumptions! what would people not think of a guy and a girl going for a not-so-hit movie ... or rather what is all that they would think But well, more on the rhetoric later, we entered the hall and realised the extent of slyness of the smile and its full implications sank in. There were, in all, including the two of us, 11 people in the entire theater!! I've seen, having been a regular Delhi collegiate, and keeping up with the rep , practically every movie that released while I was in college, and yet a theater THIS empty, was a new experience for me.

Realising what probably a bore of a time we were in for, we mutually decided we will refuse to get bored, come what may, and would crack a joke at every line. and learn some urdu, if possible :)

So there we were, two great pals, sitting in a nearly empty theater ,, watching a period movie, with a much overhyped actress and bad reviews, prepared for the worst,and yet determined to have the time of our lives...

For the less enlightened and more fortunate, allow me to say a few words, in english for now (urdu can wait till i learn it), about the movie. Its about a girl, who gets abducted, while a still a child, from her financially constrained but loving and wholesome family staying in a forlorn village of the then Awadh, and sold off to a prostitute in Lucknow. The girl gets a luxurious upbringing and more than a decent education in subjects beyond music and dance as well. But as luck (read story writer) would have it, she falls in love with her very first professional encounter. And then comes the usual obstacles put in the way of two lovers by the inevitable family cries of honor by brothers & fathers, even the prostitute-clientele, and societal differences , the synchronized glycerine overflows by women of all color , caste , and ahem, well, character , and the easy-to-miss occasional villain and ofcourse the hard-to-dismiss misunderstandings thrown in to complete the drama.

All this drama, leaves the lovers separated, the families lost and divided, the ekta-kapoor fan following in the audience beating the women on screen with genuine tears, and you wondering why would , a prostitute who doesnt mind screaming her love in front of the world would not utter the truth in front of her lover to clear out the misunderstanding ?? and then why would she actually use her profession to find out about her family, and then shy away from the world finding out lest it brings bad name to the family, and then go and meet her family in broad daylight?? i mean could she not have faked her identity ?? what was she thinking, or was she (or the story writer) thinking at all?? and then, that perfectly "perfect" woman, with her fame and clientele still intact give everything up and go into a permanent reclusion? if that's what she had to do, why she didnt she give up when her lover left her or before she went looking for her family, i mean,.... then she wud've gained smthg out of leavng her profession and after she'd lost all stakes and had nothing else to lose, she could've atleast continued being rich amd famous,. or even if she had to give evthg up, did she necesarrily have to go back to the same city and live a life of desolation? why didnt she just go to some other far-off place and started afresh,. as smrich fat lady's maid maybe. i mean if it was too difficult for people to travel to far off places, it must've been easier for people to lose their identities rt?

it left me thinking if logic did not exist in the days this story was originally written? or come to think of it, does it exist now , with people still making such movies and serials where 1 character gets married atleast 5 times in less than 5 years to perhaps all members of the clan and outside, smtimes, multiple times to the same person!! and weirdly, no matter how many times a woman has been married/divorced/jailed/even "murdered and re-incarnated", she does not a SINGLE fine line!!! she looks EXACTLY as a grandmother, as she did the day of her marriage.!!

oh-well-whatever!!! the movie made for a great time for the two of us atleast, as while struggling with noting down hard urdu words we cud use later to show-off in our vocab ;) had all the attention of the rest of the 9 audience, not-to-mention the wrath of the ekta-kapoor audience in those 9 people, and back cramps from laughing too much .... that does explain one thing though, we are better and definitely more of crowd-pullers than abhishek and aishwarya, its just that we choose not-to-be, ;)