......(continued from customer care the octopus )
The Winner:::: Singtel:
[This octopus is the uncontested winner at having a poor...nay...no head-arm coordination - so much so that it almost definitely deserved an entire piece dedicated to it.
December: Buy a new BB. All excited go jumping along to the nearest Singtel dealer, show him the BB and get a new connection.
Dealer: "It'll get connected in 3 days"
"OK, but it does work with BB right?"
Dealer: "Ofcourse"
2 days later, call customer care in over excitement
After 10 min on IVR
"Ma'm we told you the connection takes 3 days to get activated. Please wait for 3 days before confirming" [Ok fine...huh!!]
5 days later
After 10 min on IVR
"I am sorry mam but your connection is not updated in our system yet. Please wait until Tuesday" [pffffff.....]
Tuesday
After 10 min on IVR
"I am sorry mam but your connection is not updated in our system yet."
"Huh? I have had this number for 10 days now. You said it'll get activated in 3 days! What's going on"
"I am not sure Ma'm. Let me find out and call you back"
[ Its ok, relax! wait for her to call back, she will sort it out]
Wait till evening, call back
After 10 min on IVR and 10 min of explaining the background to some one else
"..so you see, xxx had told me she will call me in an hour with an answer. Its been 5 hours and I still haven't heard back."
"Ok, ma'm let me arrange for a callback"
[But that's what she did in the morning!sigh...]
20 minutes later
"Hi Ma'm this is xxx calling from Singtel. We have activated your line. You just need to restart your phone and your connection will work"
3 days, 20 restarts and another IVR routine later
"Ma'm have you tried restarting your phone? Your connection is active"
"Yes, I did tha..." [CLICK]
Needless to say by now I was furious, so I called them again - this time to scream!
After an extremely frustrating dialogue and many "call transfers to supervisors" later, ..
"Ma'm the plan you have bought is incorrect. It doesn't work for blackberry"
"I am sorry what???????"
"Ma'm the plan...."
"Ya I heard you the first time - I didn't buy this plan, your dealer sold it to me! And I checked with him! he said it WILL work with a BB!!!!"
People were turning to look at me. So I decided to calm down.
"Okay, can you change it to a plan that does work with BB?"
"Yes Ma'm, i can put you on blahhhhhh... it will cost you twice.."
"I don't want that, disconnect this number"
"Sorry mam your connection is under a 1 month contract, I can't disconnect"
"But the connection doesnt work!!!"
Another transfer to supervisor, going by the number of transfer, I should have been talking to the CEO by now!!
"Your team is telling me they can put me on plan blahhhhhh at twice the cost"
"Sorry mam, but plan blahhhhh wouldn't work for your BB for reason blahhhhh"
"What???!!!!! Your team just told me it will..what kind of....pfff...okay fine...so there's no way I can buy a BB plan from you, so disconnect this number - I dont want this"
"Sorry mam but your connection is under a 1 month contract...."
[so you see dear customer....our dealer was a thug who sold you the wrong plan, our team is made up of complete idiots and our policies were designed by kindergartner who we paid peanuts and i don't care if you die of frustration, you chose us and now you must live with your choices....]
......
Finally 1 month later my number got disconnected
15 days later I got a bill. Registration fee + 1 month charges + 2 month charges in advance = S$150 ????!!!!
A similar battle to the above ensued over the completely ridiculous bill, only this time with the billing department. Finally they conceded that I should not be expected to pay anything to them.
And so they went overboard in their realisation. The next bill I received was a S$ -150 !! Yes..acc to them they owed me S$150! :D My happiness didn't last though, the next day I was the one receiving the call!! :P
Latest status - 5 months after I bought a connection that never worked , 4 months after it got disconnected ----
I have a bill that says "Amount due S$150 " ?????????????
And a cheque from Singtel "refunding" my S$150 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Showing posts with label customer care. Show all posts
Showing posts with label customer care. Show all posts
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Saturday, May 07, 2011
customer care the octopus
Every once in a while life gives us a jolt just to show us how much we take for granted every single day. A few months ago, my life suddenly turned into a never ending live example of Murphy's law. My 3 month old laptop crashed, my brand new blackberry didn't work, my bank account got frozen for no apparent reason, I almost lost the roof over my head, my home internet stopped working for no reason (yes i had paid the bills!) , my home electricity account got disabled (yes I paid the bills for that too!!) .....nothing seemed to be going right.
And when prayers didn't seem to work, I did the only other thing imaginable;
I called up the customer care for each service.
Now Customer Care is a funny animal. Everytime I think of it, the picture of an octopus pops into my head. A big head called the Global HQ with arms spreading all over the world, encircling our dear planet from one end to another. You can imagine if you only had 1 head to manage arms that spread across the earth, it would get a little difficult to give the correct directions wouldn't it? Now imagine the customer care of every company as a separate octopus and you have a complex web of octopus heads and arms all entangled with each other, all of them trying to ...yes... answer your call.
Regardless of the hair splitting frustration I went through at the time, just as with everything else in life, hindsight is your best stand up comic. So here are the top 3 customer care experiences I had... in increasing order of frustration..err..I mean hilarity
#3 Call SBI Customer Care Singapore::
IVR : "If you know the extension of the person you wish to talk to then please dial the extension else press 9 for operator"
press 9
IVR : "If you know the extension of the person you wish to talk to then please dial the extension else press 9 for operator"
[HUH?? I Just Did That] Press 9
IVR: "Thank you for calling us. Have a nice day"
[CLICK]
Sorry what???? I tried this 3 times, and then gave up and sacrificed my precious Saturday afternoon sleep to drag myself halfway through Singapore to get what I needed to get done.
#2 Call Starhub Customer Care Singapore::
"Hi, our internet connection has stopped working. It was working fine till yesterday evening, can you please tell us what could be wrong?"
"Sure Ma'm, can I have your customer number?"
"Umm.. sorry I don't have that at hand, I can give you the name of the account holder, can you search by that?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
"I will have to find a bill for that, can't you find out through the name or my house address? Surely the address will be unique wouldn't it?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
"Okay fine, let me find a bill, please stay on the line"
5 minutes later..
"I have the bill in my hand. But it doesn't have anything like a customer number. It has an account number, will that work?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
[Is that an automated response??]
"But the account number should also be unique shouldn't it?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
[WTF!!]
"Look I am telling you I can give you my address, account number, last bill date, a/c holders' name...but there is nothing like a customer number here..."
"No Ma'm I need your customer number. Without that I can't help you"
[ARRRGGGHHH!!!]
I hung up, unplugged all wires and reset the internet connection a few times. Eventually it picked itself up again.
Next month, I received a bill that read as follows:
"Dear Customer, please note that your current account number will be referred to as your customer number from now onwards."
.......
I am thinking of sending that bill to their customer care center, just FYI.
#1 Call Dell Singapore::
Navigate through a labryinth of pages to find the correct toll-free number, a number that worked on weekends - because obviously I needed my laptop fixed urgently
24X7 toll-free no.1 : "Our working hours are Monday - Friday 9 AM to 5 PM. Please call again later"
24X7 toll-free no.2 : "This number is not toll-free and will be charged usual ISD rates. If you wish to disconnect, please hang up now"
[I did not hang up....]
[They did!]
Try again: "This number is not toll-free and will be charged usual ISD rates. If you wish to disconnect, please hang up now"
[I did not hang up....]
[They did!]
24X7 toll-free no.3 : "Hi, May I help you"
"Yes, I bought a laptop 3 months ago and last night I was checking my email when it suddenly crashed. And it isn't booting up now. The service tag no is xxxxx . Its under a 1 year warranty"
"Please hold on ma'm" ...
[2 minutes later]
"Ma'm where did you buy this laptop"
"Singapore"
"Ma'm you've reached the call center in the United States. Let me give you a number for Singapore"
[What?! I have been paying call charges for ISD ... but this call didn't say it was not toll free!!]
"Yes please, give me the number"
"xxxxxxxx"
New toll-free number: "Our working hours are Monday - Friday 9 AM to 5 PM. Please call again later"
......
A few more calls later I finally managed to find a shop that gave me the right number to call. A couple of months and many more phone calls and emails later, some one finally came and changed by hard disk. so much for my "urgency"! Of course since then I received their emails asking me to fill customer surveys, feedbacks and buy more stuff from them - everyDAY!! - until I did fill out a survey. The emails stopped coming, I think they read the survey! ;)
The winner of all the octopuses is an entirely separate story altogether ... coming up in "customer care the octopus - part 2"
And when prayers didn't seem to work, I did the only other thing imaginable;
I called up the customer care for each service.
Now Customer Care is a funny animal. Everytime I think of it, the picture of an octopus pops into my head. A big head called the Global HQ with arms spreading all over the world, encircling our dear planet from one end to another. You can imagine if you only had 1 head to manage arms that spread across the earth, it would get a little difficult to give the correct directions wouldn't it? Now imagine the customer care of every company as a separate octopus and you have a complex web of octopus heads and arms all entangled with each other, all of them trying to ...yes... answer your call.
Regardless of the hair splitting frustration I went through at the time, just as with everything else in life, hindsight is your best stand up comic. So here are the top 3 customer care experiences I had... in increasing order of frustration..err..I mean hilarity
#3 Call SBI Customer Care Singapore::
IVR : "If you know the extension of the person you wish to talk to then please dial the extension else press 9 for operator"
press 9
IVR : "If you know the extension of the person you wish to talk to then please dial the extension else press 9 for operator"
[HUH?? I Just Did That] Press 9
IVR: "Thank you for calling us. Have a nice day"
[CLICK]
Sorry what???? I tried this 3 times, and then gave up and sacrificed my precious Saturday afternoon sleep to drag myself halfway through Singapore to get what I needed to get done.
#2 Call Starhub Customer Care Singapore::
"Hi, our internet connection has stopped working. It was working fine till yesterday evening, can you please tell us what could be wrong?"
"Sure Ma'm, can I have your customer number?"
"Umm.. sorry I don't have that at hand, I can give you the name of the account holder, can you search by that?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
"I will have to find a bill for that, can't you find out through the name or my house address? Surely the address will be unique wouldn't it?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
"Okay fine, let me find a bill, please stay on the line"
5 minutes later..
"I have the bill in my hand. But it doesn't have anything like a customer number. It has an account number, will that work?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
[Is that an automated response??]
"But the account number should also be unique shouldn't it?"
"No Ma'm I need your customer number"
[WTF!!]
"Look I am telling you I can give you my address, account number, last bill date, a/c holders' name...but there is nothing like a customer number here..."
"No Ma'm I need your customer number. Without that I can't help you"
[ARRRGGGHHH!!!]
I hung up, unplugged all wires and reset the internet connection a few times. Eventually it picked itself up again.
Next month, I received a bill that read as follows:
"Dear Customer, please note that your current account number will be referred to as your customer number from now onwards."
.......
I am thinking of sending that bill to their customer care center, just FYI.
#1 Call Dell Singapore::
Navigate through a labryinth of pages to find the correct toll-free number, a number that worked on weekends - because obviously I needed my laptop fixed urgently
24X7 toll-free no.1 : "Our working hours are Monday - Friday 9 AM to 5 PM. Please call again later"
24X7 toll-free no.2 : "This number is not toll-free and will be charged usual ISD rates. If you wish to disconnect, please hang up now"
[I did not hang up....]
[They did!]
Try again: "This number is not toll-free and will be charged usual ISD rates. If you wish to disconnect, please hang up now"
[I did not hang up....]
[They did!]
24X7 toll-free no.3 : "Hi, May I help you"
"Yes, I bought a laptop 3 months ago and last night I was checking my email when it suddenly crashed. And it isn't booting up now. The service tag no is xxxxx . Its under a 1 year warranty"
"Please hold on ma'm" ...
[2 minutes later]
"Ma'm where did you buy this laptop"
"Singapore"
"Ma'm you've reached the call center in the United States. Let me give you a number for Singapore"
[What?! I have been paying call charges for ISD ... but this call didn't say it was not toll free!!]
"Yes please, give me the number"
"xxxxxxxx"
New toll-free number: "Our working hours are Monday - Friday 9 AM to 5 PM. Please call again later"
......
A few more calls later I finally managed to find a shop that gave me the right number to call. A couple of months and many more phone calls and emails later, some one finally came and changed by hard disk. so much for my "urgency"! Of course since then I received their emails asking me to fill customer surveys, feedbacks and buy more stuff from them - everyDAY!! - until I did fill out a survey. The emails stopped coming, I think they read the survey! ;)
The winner of all the octopuses is an entirely separate story altogether ... coming up in "customer care the octopus - part 2"
Monday, July 21, 2008
Consumerism???????
This is the age of the consumer. Businesses center their sales processes & promotional offers around the needs around the consumers. New innovations happen keeping in mind what the consumer wants. Products are released with a lot of thought put into what the market currently really lacks and the consumer really needs. Right? Wrong!
Nearly a month ago I put in a request to cancel an internet broadband connection I had. I am leaving the country for a few years, and paying the rent unnecessarily for so long just didnt make sense.
So I called the Airtel helpline service to ask the procedure...
Airtel: "How may I help you?"
Me: "I have a broadband connection..I would like to cancel it, can you please tell me the process?"
Airtel:"Ma'm, Why do you want to cancel it?"
Me: (okay...obvious question), "I am going abroad.Could you please tell me the process?"
Airtel:"Can you please tell me where are you going?"
Me:(what??!!) "What does that have anything to do with the cancellation process?Can you just tell me the process?"
Airtel:"Sure Ma'm..."
And he told me. Was a bit annoying, but I left it.
Same day, airtel office
Airtel: "Hi.How may I help you?"
Me: "I have a broadband connection, landline no. ------- ..I would like to cancel it, here are the phone and modem instruments and the application."
Airtel:"Sure Ma'm, Can I ask why do you want to cancel it?"
Me: (well he would need a reason to write on the form), "I am going abroad."
Airtel:"Can you please tell me where are you going?"
Me: (okay may be there's some logic to this) "Does that affect the cancellation process somehow?"
Airtel:"No Ma'm, just asking.."
Me: (he has time for idle chat with 10 people standing on his head?!) "I would appreciate if you could just complete the formalities quickly"
Airtel:"Ma'm your permanent residence is in Delhi, why don't you get it shifted?"
Me: (allright, std. customer retention), "No thanks! I don't want to.I'd just like to cancel this account"
Airtel:"Sure...can you please deposit the outstanding bill?"
Me:"Sure, today is 7th, how much does the bill come to?"
Airtel:"Ma'm you will have to pay till the 10th, since the request will take 3 days to process"
Me: (they will charge me for their processing time?! well whatever...)
So I paid for 3 days extra, completed the formalities and left.
Me: (Whew! that's done!)
few days later
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me: (haven't they cancelled it yet?) "Yes..."
Airtel:"Can you please tell me reason?"
Me: (??????) "Isn't it there on my request form?"
Airtel:"Yes ma'm it says you are going abroad"
Me:"that's correct. why are you asking me again?"
Airtel:"Ma'm can you tell me when you are leaving?";
Me: (What crap!! ) "Why? how is that any of airtel's concern?"
Airtel:"Ma'm no you could continue till the date of your leaving"
Me:"I don't want to.Can you just cancel it immediately? And I don't want any further inquiries from Airtel"
Airtel:"Sure ma'm"
I hung up irritated.
few more days later
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me: (what the f***!!!) "Yes I did. I hope its done!"
Airtel:"Ma'm your form says you are going abroad"
Me:(Oh My God!!) "Yes. So?"
Airtel:"Ma'm can you tell me for how long are you going?"
Me: (these bloddy 7&$&^%$#W) "How on earth does that concern?!!! I am going where, when for how long...how the hell is that any of your or airtel's concern? Are you people planning to sponsor my tickets? my stay? what the hell does any of this have to do with cancelling a net connection????????"
Airtel: "No Ma'm if you are going for 3 months i could put this on hold..."
Me:"No I don't want you to put this on hold! I want you to cancel it! Do you understand??"
Airtel:"Sure ma'm"
Me:(*^%$#@^& better do it this time!!!!!!)
but this wasn't to be!! after a few more days, I got yet another call, this time from the Airtel manager..
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me:" Yes I did!! And this request is NOT open to any discussion or offers from Airtel! I want you to cancel it immediately and I would appreciate if you do not call me again!!!!!"
I could not believe how disgusting this could get. But I thought my retort would have put all tries at rest, until today,
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me: "Oh My God!! I cannot believe you people! I put in that request almost a month ago. I even paid extra for your 3 days of processing! I have responded to atleast 5 different calls till now. For one last time this request is NOT open to any discussion! If I get one more call from Airtel I am going to file a PIL against you people. Do you understand!!! Cancel this connection immediately!!!!!!!"
Airtel:"Sure ma'm"....
The connection isn't cancelled yet. Despite my (this time) shouting and screaming, I am not sure when it will be. I am feeling so annoyed that I feel like surrendering all Airtel numbers!!
Everyone, including me, has been plagued with endless telemearketing calls from banks, insurance agencies, mobile companies, and who not. But I had never felt so disgusted with these aggressive sales and retention strategies than this time.
This is not consumerism..this is not even business.. this is intrusion of privacy and plain & simple harassment!!While the USA, where everyone sues everyone else is one extreme, our country is the other. And its about time we started suing these companies for their lousy business practices and consumer harassing sales & retention strategies.
If I get one more call, I know I am not going to swear in my mind only.... Any consumer lawyers out there??????
Nearly a month ago I put in a request to cancel an internet broadband connection I had. I am leaving the country for a few years, and paying the rent unnecessarily for so long just didnt make sense.
So I called the Airtel helpline service to ask the procedure...
Airtel: "How may I help you?"
Me: "I have a broadband connection..I would like to cancel it, can you please tell me the process?"
Airtel:"Ma'm, Why do you want to cancel it?"
Me: (okay...obvious question), "I am going abroad.Could you please tell me the process?"
Airtel:"Can you please tell me where are you going?"
Me:(what??!!) "What does that have anything to do with the cancellation process?Can you just tell me the process?"
Airtel:"Sure Ma'm..."
And he told me. Was a bit annoying, but I left it.
Same day, airtel office
Airtel: "Hi.How may I help you?"
Me: "I have a broadband connection, landline no. ------- ..I would like to cancel it, here are the phone and modem instruments and the application."
Airtel:"Sure Ma'm, Can I ask why do you want to cancel it?"
Me: (well he would need a reason to write on the form), "I am going abroad."
Airtel:"Can you please tell me where are you going?"
Me: (okay may be there's some logic to this) "Does that affect the cancellation process somehow?"
Airtel:"No Ma'm, just asking.."
Me: (he has time for idle chat with 10 people standing on his head?!) "I would appreciate if you could just complete the formalities quickly"
Airtel:"Ma'm your permanent residence is in Delhi, why don't you get it shifted?"
Me: (allright, std. customer retention), "No thanks! I don't want to.I'd just like to cancel this account"
Airtel:"Sure...can you please deposit the outstanding bill?"
Me:"Sure, today is 7th, how much does the bill come to?"
Airtel:"Ma'm you will have to pay till the 10th, since the request will take 3 days to process"
Me: (they will charge me for their processing time?! well whatever...)
So I paid for 3 days extra, completed the formalities and left.
Me: (Whew! that's done!)
few days later
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me: (haven't they cancelled it yet?) "Yes..."
Airtel:"Can you please tell me reason?"
Me: (??????) "Isn't it there on my request form?"
Airtel:"Yes ma'm it says you are going abroad"
Me:"that's correct. why are you asking me again?"
Airtel:"Ma'm can you tell me when you are leaving?";
Me: (What crap!! ) "Why? how is that any of airtel's concern?"
Airtel:"Ma'm no you could continue till the date of your leaving"
Me:"I don't want to.Can you just cancel it immediately? And I don't want any further inquiries from Airtel"
Airtel:"Sure ma'm"
I hung up irritated.
few more days later
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me: (what the f***!!!) "Yes I did. I hope its done!"
Airtel:"Ma'm your form says you are going abroad"
Me:(Oh My God!!) "Yes. So?"
Airtel:"Ma'm can you tell me for how long are you going?"
Me: (these bloddy 7&$&^%$#W) "How on earth does that concern?!!! I am going where, when for how long...how the hell is that any of your or airtel's concern? Are you people planning to sponsor my tickets? my stay? what the hell does any of this have to do with cancelling a net connection????????"
Airtel: "No Ma'm if you are going for 3 months i could put this on hold..."
Me:"No I don't want you to put this on hold! I want you to cancel it! Do you understand??"
Airtel:"Sure ma'm"
Me:(*^%$#@^& better do it this time!!!!!!)
but this wasn't to be!! after a few more days, I got yet another call, this time from the Airtel manager..
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me:" Yes I did!! And this request is NOT open to any discussion or offers from Airtel! I want you to cancel it immediately and I would appreciate if you do not call me again!!!!!"
I could not believe how disgusting this could get. But I thought my retort would have put all tries at rest, until today,
Airtel:"Ma'm you have put in a request to cancel the landline number -------?";
Me: "Oh My God!! I cannot believe you people! I put in that request almost a month ago. I even paid extra for your 3 days of processing! I have responded to atleast 5 different calls till now. For one last time this request is NOT open to any discussion! If I get one more call from Airtel I am going to file a PIL against you people. Do you understand!!! Cancel this connection immediately!!!!!!!"
Airtel:"Sure ma'm"....
The connection isn't cancelled yet. Despite my (this time) shouting and screaming, I am not sure when it will be. I am feeling so annoyed that I feel like surrendering all Airtel numbers!!
Everyone, including me, has been plagued with endless telemearketing calls from banks, insurance agencies, mobile companies, and who not. But I had never felt so disgusted with these aggressive sales and retention strategies than this time.
This is not consumerism..this is not even business.. this is intrusion of privacy and plain & simple harassment!!While the USA, where everyone sues everyone else is one extreme, our country is the other. And its about time we started suing these companies for their lousy business practices and consumer harassing sales & retention strategies.
If I get one more call, I know I am not going to swear in my mind only.... Any consumer lawyers out there??????
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