I remember the first time I left for Singapore. I am not the crying sort, and I wasn't particularly sad either. But as the plane took off, for the first time perhaps I felt a pang of pain. I was leaving my home, my country, my family n friends for God knows how long. I had no idea when I would return or what my life in Singapore would be like.

Come december 08, and I was already on my back home, in the very first vacations. 20 fabulous days @ home flew away; and it was time to come back to studies. Only this time, I didn't feel strange. I was leaving one known country for another. Sure my family wouldn't be there but at least I had friends I was looking forward to meeting. Singapore felt equally home.

Things have taken a strange turn since then. So strange, that its almost funny. Now, when I am India, the life in Singapore: the friends, outings, the safety, the cleanliness, school, classes, everything seems like a fantasy,

and when I am in Singapore, its the other way round.

For some reason, nothing feels real. Nothing at all. And its probably not even for the country I am not in. Perhaps its also for the country I am in. At any point in time, it seems that I can almost detach myself from the world around me.....and almost see it passing by.

Talk about having an out-of-body experience! .. seems like I am constantly in one!!

And after a very long time perhaps, I am short of the right words to express this state of my mind....

...I think I need to belong.